


Ghosts Of Christmas Past

by bouncymouse



Series: Shinra Holiday 2020 [3]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, ShinraHoliday2020, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28120833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouncymouse/pseuds/bouncymouse
Summary: Reno and Rude reflect on things. Mentioned Reno/Tifa. For #ShinraHoliday2020
Relationships: Reno & Rude (Compilation of FFVII), Tifa Lockhart/Reno
Series: Shinra Holiday 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057700
Comments: 11
Kudos: 19
Collections: Shinra Holiday 2020





	Ghosts Of Christmas Past

**Author's Note:**

> Short and sweet for #ShinraHoliday2020 Day 3, for the prompt 'Ghosts of Christmas Past.'

It was another late night at the office.

As Reno suspected, he’d be travelling to Icicle Inn a day early to scope out the area prior to Rufus’ arrival. Tseng hadn’t filled him in on the details surrounding the deal, and that was fine by him. He didn’t particularly care what the meeting was for, he just cared that the trip went to plan and nobody put a bullet in the President.

It wasn’t Icicle Inn that had them working late, though. There was trouble in North Corel again, and Shinra had their fingers in a few pies nearby. Elena and Rude were preparing to fly out the following morning, tasked with running reconnaissance, whilst Reno would head North.

He was trying to avoid being at home by himself. He wasn’t in the mood for company, but it beat being stuck inside his own head. Elena got the short straw and had to deal with his shitty mood.

He’d offered to stay and help crunch the numbers. So far, helping comprised making paper aeroplanes whilst Elena worked, answering her occasional questions and drinking a lot of coffee. Rude was doing some last-minute checks on the choppers they’d be taking, and Tseng had been in a meeting with Ex-Director Tuesti for the last hour. WRO was interested in the Icicle deal, apparently. If they were getting antsy it meant Shinra were on to a winner, although they could do without WRO throwing a spanner in the works.

Elena questioned his sullen mood at first, but quickly gave up when it became apparent he wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. She showed a surprising amount of restraint when she didn't push the issue. She only snapped at him once when a badly aimed projectile hit her in the face. There was still a red mark on her cheek.

There was a mark on her neck too, almost hidden by the collar of her shirt. It was a fucking hickey.

Ordinarily, he’d have relished interrogating her. Tonight, he didn’t have the energy. There was a lot on his mind. He’d kept his comments to himself, whistling tunelessly when he wasn't tapping his feet and fetching the coffee whenever they ran low. She'd put up with him being irritating if it meant she stayed caffeinated. It seemed a fair exchange.

He opened the drawer beneath his desk, reaching for the lighter and the crumpled cardboard packet lodged at the back. It was a while since he'd reached for them, and he knew Elena wouldn't approve.

“Going for a break,” he said, standing up. His chair rolled backwards, hitting the partition behind him.

Her eyes flicked to the clock on her monitor. “See you in ten?”

“Eh… give or take.”

She stared at him a moment longer, her expression far too calculating. 

“Okay,” she said finally. “Have a good one.”

Reno saluted lazily, jamming his hands in his pockets to conceal the contraband. She’d know the second he walked back into the office, but for now, at least he was safe from the lecture.

He crossed the sea of cubicles, heading for the large glass doors at the far end of the room. Elena preferred to dim the office lights after hours, and all he could see in the dark panes was his own reflection, hollow-eyed and dishevelled.

The icy wind hit him the second he opened the door. He slipped through the gap, shutting it firmly behind him. Out here, the air was frosty, and his breath formed hazy clouds that shivered in front of him. He walked to the edge of the balcony, boots echoing on the concrete, grit crunching underfoot. When he reached the edge, he leaned his elbows on the metal railing and took in the view.

Shadowy clouds drifted across the navy sky. This scene wasn’t so spectacular as the one visible from the old Shinra building, but it still calmed him somehow. He watched a lone car making its way slowly down the main road. Soft lights created a patchwork of yellow squares, each one revealing another window, another home. The city was still eerily silent, trapped under a thick blanket of white.

There was snow in the air, too. He could taste it.

He took the packet out of his trouser pocket and flipped it open. There were four cigarettes left. He’d have one now and save the rest. When he finished the pack, he wouldn’t replace it. 

He slid a smoke free and clamped it between his cracked lips. Behind him, he heard the door open.

If it was Elena, he was about to get an earful. He lit the cigarette anyway. Smoke spiralled from the tip, silver-grey in the dark air.

“Thought you’d quit.”

Not Elena, then.

Reno shrugged. “I have.”

“Don’t look that way.”

Heavy footsteps crossed the balcony before Rude took up position beside him. He folded his suited arms on the edge, staring out into the night.

Reno inhaled deeply, savouring the burn in the back of his throat.

“It’s a one-off,” he said on the exhale, releasing a thin plume of smoke. “Elena sent you?”

Rude grunted.

“I’m fine,” Reno insisted.

They stood in companionable silence for a while. Reno held the cigarette in numb fingers, watching the embers scatter into the wind.

He held it out. Rude accepted it without a word and took a long drag.

“You know the thing I hate about snow?” Reno asked, after a long pause. He didn’t wait for Rude’s reply. “It makes everything look so fucking _pristine_ , you know? And it ain’t… It’s still the same crappy city underneath.”

Rude sighed. “That’s pretty deep, coming from you.”

“I have my moments.”

“What’s her name?”

Reno turned, eyeing his partner with suspicion. “What?”

All he got in response was a pair of raised eyebrows. Rude could be a fucking clairvoyant when he wanted.

So what if it was about a girl? Reno’s biggest mistake was letting the barmaid get under his skin. He wasn’t about to admit that to Rude, though.

“It’s the ghosts,” he said, after a while. “I just… I can’t fucking shake ‘em man.”

“Don’t think we ever will. Not completely.”

A snowflake spiralled lazily through the air, landing on the back of his gloved hand. Rude handed the cigarette back and Reno took one last drag.

“I bumped into Tifa Lockhart the other day,” he said, studying the dying smoke in his fingers. “She was with her kids.”

Rude waited.

“You ever wonder…” He trailed off, stubbing the cigarette out and tossing the butt over the edge. It was lost to his eagle-eyes long before it reached the ground. “Was this the life you wanted?”

“It’s the life I’ve got,” Rude replied.

“Ain’t that the truth.”

“What did you do?”

“What?”

Rude frowned. “Tifa. What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Reno said quickly, curling his empty fingers around the rail. His leather gloves creaked, his bare fingertips burning against the icy metal. The confession came out of nowhere, taking him by surprise. “I built a fucking snowman.”

Another car passed below them, painfully slowly, the driver clearly having trouble with the treacherous conditions. Reno watched the red taillights until they’d all but disappeared, waiting to see whether Rude would pass comment on the admission. He didn’t.

“It’s a long story,” he admitted. “I guess… it was just a taste of a different life, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Reno turned away from the snowy landscape, leaning back on his elbows. Cold air cut across the triangle of skin exposed by his untucked shirt, and he shivered.

“You ever wake up and you’re back there?” he asked quietly, watching their reflections in the mirror.

He didn’t need to explain any further. Rude knew what he was talking about. “Sometimes.”

Reno ground a chunk of salt beneath his heel. He’d snap out of this maudlin mood eventually, he knew. It was difficult, though. That tiny glimpse of domestic bliss had thrown him off-kilter, as had the moment that passed between them.

He should’ve kissed her when he had the chance. Maybe that would’ve gotten it out of his system.

“You think people will ever forgive us for what we did?” he asked.

Rude thought about this. “We don’t want forgiveness.”

“Well, what the fuck do we want?”

“Redemption.”

“And then what?”

Rude shrugged. “Damned if I know.”

They stood in silence, broken only by the wind whistling over the balcony. It brought more snow. The flakes were thicker now, melting to nothing as they landed on the salty ground. It was too fucking cold to stay out here, Reno knew, but he didn’t want to go back inside.

Maybe if he stayed here long enough, the snow would whiten his dirty conscience.

“She’s got a heart of gold,” Rude said, after a while.

“Hmm?”

“Tifa.”

“Oh.”

Rude straightened up. There was machine oil smeared on his cheek. He crossed the balcony, heading back for the building. Break-time was apparently over.

He stopped just short of the door, turning back towards Reno. “You know the best way of dealing with ghosts?”

“An exorcism?” Reno quipped. The words felt hollow on his tongue.

“Shine a light on them,” Rude replied.

Reno watched him disappear through the glass door, pulling it shut behind him. If only it were that simple. 


End file.
